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  Tonight in Dorset  BenKaye at 20:13 on 24 April 2010
 

Itís that kind of evening; the cherries are promising blossom and the subtlest of crimson sunsets is settling gently in an azure cirrus scarred sky.

The breeze is gentle and the scent of dampening grass competes with my glass of Laguna and wafts of wild garlic from the woodland on the hill.

Tonight is full of the promise of a summer made for children. And the child in me still remembers how it was, and longingly how it might be made so again.

But so many things have changed. Gone is my belief in good and fairness; Lost is my innocence; Confused are those refracted divisions between right and wrong. Strong though is my love for my daughter and my son, neither of whom could possibly absorb this eveningís wonder with the forlorn but eager resonance of my life.

And so it is.

And the frantic sucking on cigarettes; the sunrise and seagulls greeting a new father and a new life in the chilly crane silhouetted dawn; Then the contemplation Cancer park in Southampton where those same seagulls cried over the parents hoping against hope. The hot hot cheery wards and nurses and the hotter parentsí make-some-tea kitchen; And the god awful rain lashed day when it was all over and I couldnít speak.

And so it is.